“My Cup Runneth Over… So I Left”
While we were planning the meal for Thanksgiving a few weeks ago, I casually asked my oldest daughter Winter how many people we were expecting. Since her home can hold a large number of people, she usually hosts. Now that she’s newly remarried, that comes with bonus family members—like when you order fries and the restaurant surprises you with a few extra at the bottom of the bag.
Winter—my extrovert, my social butterfly, my “fill the whole house with humans” child—texted back immediately:
“About 20 people.”
Excuse me? Twenty people!?
Before I could even gather my thoughts, my middle daughter, Candice, sent her a message:
“I’m gonna have to work up my social battery.”
Translation: “I love y’all… but give me time to prepare my spirit.”
Then my youngest, Faith, the queen of quiet exits, texted me:
“Let’s plan a time. When I look at you—that’ll be our signal to roll out.”
And honestly? I didn’t argue with her little escape plan one bit. That girl knows her limits. She understands her social and emotional bandwidth, and she protects it like it’s a security deposit she expects back in full. That’s her boundary. And it’s valid.
Meanwhile, Winter was still buzzing around like the Energizer Bunny on Red Bull, thrilled at the idea of a crowd big enough to require seating charts, backup chairs, and possibly a fire marshal.
Three daughters.
Three completely different personalities.
Three very real social batteries.
And guess what? Every one of them had boundaries that made sense for who they are.
Here’s the thing:
Boundaries don’t make you difficult. They make you clear.
Some folks thrive around people.
Some folks need a warm-up.
Some folks need a quiet exit strategy and a moment to breathe in the car before driving home.
And there is nothing wrong with any of that.
So let me tell you, holidays will test every kind of boundary you’ve got—mental, emotional, social, and spiritual. But it’s your job to know where your “full” is, so you don’t run on empty trying to please everyone else.
Your “no” is holy.
Your limits are honorable.
Your peace is not up for negotiation.
Even Jesus had boundaries.
He went off to pray alone.
He separated Himself from the crowd.
He said “not now” and “not here.”
So if the Son of God could step away for a minute, why are you worried about telling cousin so-and-so you’re not staying until midnight?
**Mama Wisdom Reflection:
Boundaries aren’t about shutting people out—they’re about letting people in with wisdom. When you honor your energy, your emotions, your needs, and your peace, you show up more whole, more grounded, and less resentful.
In this New Year, pay attention to what drains you.
Pay attention to what feeds you.
Pay attention to what your body, your spirit, and your heart are trying to tell you.
Because protecting your peace is one of the most sacred gifts you can give yourself—not just during the holidays, but every day of the year.
Scripture to Seal It:
“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” — Proverbs 4:23
And sometimes guarding your heart looks like:
leaving early,
saying no,
limiting access,
or not inviting 20 people to your house (looking directly at you, Winter).
So listen— set your boundaries with confidence, intention, and absolutely no shame.
If you don’t want everyone in your house till the streetlights come on, say so.
If you need a break, take it.
And if your social battery is about as charged as an iPhone from 2012, go ahead and put yourself on the charger—nobody needs you glitching in public.
And if anyone has a problem with your boundaries?
Tell them you’re simply following the example of Jesus…
who slipped away for quiet time so often the disciples probably thought He invented ghosting.
May your peace be protected,
your “no” be respected,
and your family gatherings start on time and end before your weave starts itching.
