“Access Denied- Stop Letting People Play With You”
Called to Peace, Not Chaos
Years ago, I read I Corinthians 7:15, and it settled something in me for good-if they want to leave…let them.
Why?
Because God has called us to live in peace-not chaos, confusion, or relationships held together by emotional duct tape.
And in case we missed it, Jeremiah 15:1 basically says, “Let them go.” So if God can release people…what exactly are we holding on to?
Stop Chasing What Left
We have to stop chasing people who are already halfway out the door. My father taught me early-never let someone think they have power over you. No one gets to control whether you smile, cry, succeed, or fall apart.
Let me say it plain: I’m not chasing anyone for validation-or for a relationship. Ever.
Bad Advice Will Have You Looking Crazy
Years ago I had someone in the position of a pastor tell me I needed to go find my ex and convince him to come back home.
Sir….what?
Like I was supposed to duct-tape him and drag him back into a relationship he clearly exited? That advice didn’t just miss the mark-it wasn’t even biblical. So I did what needed to be done-
I threw it straight into the trash.
Jesus Didn’t Chase-So Why Are You?
If Jesus didn’t chase Judas, I’m definitely not chasing anyone who betrays me.
Jesus didn’t beg. He didn’t negotiate. He didn’t send a search party. He said: “What you are about to do, do quickly.” John 13:27
In other words- Go ahead. Do what you already decided to do.
Because here’s the truth: People will do exactly what they’ve already made up their minds to do.
Plot Twist: Their Betrayal Isn’t That Powerful
Now here’s the part that’ll really set you free- Judas and the religious leaders thought they were ruining Jesus destiny.
They weren’t. They were unknowingly helping to fulfill it.
Judas thought he was ending something… but he was actually setting salvation in motion.
So let me bring that a little closer to home: God’s plan for your life is bigger than their betrayal.
Read that again: Bigger. Than. Their. Betrayal.
Stop Overthinking It
Stop losing sleep trying to figure out why they did what they did. Stop replaying conversations. Stop responding to foolishness. And please-stop trying to prove your innocence to people who already picked a narrative.
Not everyone deserves a response. Some people deserve silence and distance.
When God Says Move…You Move
During one of the most chaotic seasons of my life, I stayed tuned into God. And I mean tuned in. Like a dog whose ears perk up at the slightest sound-that was me.
I had a dream I was packing my belongings into a UPS truck. Instead of over-analyzing it, I asked God: “Is this what you’re telling me to do?” A few weeks later, me and my two youngest daughters were on our way to Northern Virginia. New Place. New Season. New Mindset. New Ventures.
Not Everyone Gets Access Anymore
Let’s be Clear: Everybody is not meant to go with you into your next season. Everybody doesn’t get access to you anymore. And honestly? That’s okay. I don’t need to confront you. I don’t need revenge. I don’t even need closure.
I need peace-and distance delivers that every time.
Keep It Moving
People do not have the power to derail what God has destined for your life. They weren’t even built to go the distance with you. So stop, dear heart.
Stop losing sleep over people who walked away like they were doing you a favor. Because honestly? They might have been. Just keep it moving.
Final Word from Mama Wisdom(With a little Attitude)
A wise friend told me- “The best revenge is to live a good life.”
And I took that personally.
