The Day I Learned to Forgive
The Shock That Changed Everything: For 27 years, I was a pastors’s wife - devoted to ministry, family, and faith. At 47, I was served with divorce papers. I still remember standing there at the post office signing for that certified mail, papers in hand, feeling like my world had cracked open. I had spent my adult life helping others heal, never imagining I’d need the same kind of grace for myself.
Facing the Pain: In those first months, I wrestled with anger, shame, and disbelief. I asked God questions that had no easy answers. How could a marriage I believed was built on faith unravel? Why me? I thought forgiving him would mean saying what he did was okay- but forgiveness isn’t permission. It’s release.
The Turning Point: Forgiveness began the moment I realized it wasn’t about my ex-husband. It was about my peace. Carrying the hurt kept me tied to a past God was trying to free me from. Slowly, I stopped replaying what was done and started praying for what could still be healed - in me.
Rebuilding the Woman I Was Meant To Be: At 54, I kept a promise I’d made long ago to my parents that because I had chosen ministry and marriage over finishing college, that one day I would get my degree in law. Walking across that stage, magna cum laude, I felt like I had closed one chapter and begun another. My parents weren’t there to see it, but my three adult daughters were, and that moment was for all of us. Again, receiving that degree wasn’t just about education; it was about redemption. It was me saying “I kept my word.” It was a reminder that it’s never too late to rise, rebuild, and finish what you started.
Living in Forgiveness: Forgiveness didn’t erase the pain. It just gave me the power to stop reliving it. I learned that peace is the proof of forgiveness. I’m not bitter. I’m better. I’m not broken, I’ve became whole. Healing didn’t come overnight. It came in the quiet mornings when I chose prayer over bitterness, in the moments I decided to see peace as progress, and in the realization that I could love my own company. Slowly, I began to see that healing isn’t about returning to who you were -it’s about becoming who you’re meant to be.
A Little Mama Wisdom: Forgiveness doesn’t excuse what happened - it releases you to live again. Let go, not because they deserve it, but because you do.
